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How do I figure out if I am gay?
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Sexual Health & Disorders
Question #21721
59 days ago
139

How do I figure out if I am gay? - #21721

Skylar

I am really confused about my feelings and I need some advice, like, seriously. So, I've been questioning my sexual orientation lately and I can't stop asking myself, "am I gay?" It's been on my mind nonstop for a few months now, which is kinda intense, right? I mean, I’ve had crushes on girls in the past — like my best friend from high school, and I totally thought it was just a phase. But now I find myself getting these deep feelings towards guys too. It’s kinda confusing. Sometimes I just wanna scream, "am I gay?" When I think of dating, I feel like my mind is a mess because I don’t really know if I'd be happier with a guy or a girl. And let’s be real, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I’m leaning towards guys which totally freaks me out. That’s making me question everything! I talk to my close friends about it, but they’re more supportive than anything else. They usually just say, "Dude, just figure it out at your own pace!" But like, when am I supposed to feel 100% sure? My head is just spinning every time. I’ve been reading online about different sexual orientations, and it seems like there’s a lot of fluidity these days — which makes me wonder if it’s okay to even just ask if “am I gay”? Like, are there signs or something? Sometimes I feel attracted to the idea of being with a guy, but I also get kind of anxious about it — like, what would my family think? What if I’m wrong? It all feels so intense, ya know? I also feel like everyone around me is so sure of themselves—like they’ve already figured out their stuff. Meanwhile, I’m just here stuck in my own head, questioning if I’m gay, all the while feeling like I’m pulling away from my old crushes. It’s like, what if I’m just going through something? Or, is this my reality now? It would be helpful to know if anyone else has felt like this too! I just feel lost and scared but kinda excited too, which is weird. I'm open to any thoughts you all have, and if you have any tips or experiences about figuring out whether "am I gay?" or just maybe bi or something, I’d love to hear them. I guess I realize it might take time, but I just need to chat about it. Is it normal to feel this way? Honestly, I'm all ears!

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Doctors’ responses

As an Ayurvedic physician, my expertise is in health and wellness but not specifically in navigating questions of sexual orientation, as that domain is quite personal and can be influenced by various factors, including emotional and psychological ones. However, I can offer general advice on how Ayurveda views the mind and emotions, which might provide some unique insights into your state of confusion and the intrinsic well-being. Ayurveda teaches that mental health is deeply connected to our doshas, or constitutional types. When our doshas are balanced, our mind tends to be clear and grounded, but when they're imbalanced, confusion and anxiety can arise. Vata, which is related to air and space, governs movement and change; imbalanced Vata can lead to restlessness, anxiety, or unsettled thoughts, much like what you are experiencing. To help ground your Vata, consider incorporating routines and practices that foster stability. Think warming and grounding foods like cooked grains, and root vegetables, ghee (clarified butter) can support mental stability as well. Regular routines and gentle yoga or meditation can anchor your fluctuating thoughts, while calming herbs like ashwagandha might promote relaxation—it's best to consult with an Ayurvedic practitioner for tailored advice. Your process of discovery will take time and self-reflection. It’s normal to feel what you’re feeling. You might find solace in journaling your thoughts each day, finding patterns or insights as they arise. Connect with communities or forums where people share experiences similar to yours. This could offer you new perspectives and lessen that feeling of being alone in your journey. Let yourself have space to explore naturally, maintaining a compassionate view towards yourself in the process. Ultimately, knowing oneself and one's preferences is a journey. Whatever your orientation may be, learning about and accepting yourself is the most important thing. If emotional distress persists or if you desire more personalized guidance, speaking with a counselor or therapist open to LGBTQIA issues could be beneficial. They can provide safe space to explore your feelings without judgement.
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