Dilemma in choosing my personal interest or my mother's expectations - #319
I have interest in spiritual life but my mother wants me to lead a worldly life. I can neither leave her nor live with her meeting her expectations
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Hello MariSetty, I can understand your dilemma and completely sympathise with it. Having said that it is important that you sick guidance from a professional therapist. You can talk to them at length. Explain your problem in details and you will definitely receive good advice. You have also mentioned history of schizophrenia, are you on any medication right now? It is important to evaluate the condition and before I suggest anything. This looks more like a psychological counselling and a psychotherapist or a counsellor would be an ideal person to deal with this.
Navigating the balance between your spiritual interests and your mother’s expectations can be challenging, especially when managing a condition like schizophrenia. It may be beneficial to have an open and compassionate conversation with your mother about your spiritual aspirations, explaining how they contribute positively to your well-being. Try to find common ground where both your interests and her expectations can coexist.
In addition, incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga can help cultivate inner peace and clarity. These practices may support your mental health by reducing stress and improving emotional stability, which is crucial for managing schizophrenia. I also strongly recommend seeking therapy or counseling to explore your feelings regarding this conflict. A qualified therapist can provide a safe space for you to express your thoughts and develop coping strategies while improving communication with your mother.
Combining therapy with Ayurvedic guidance can offer a holistic approach to your mental and emotional health. An Ayurvedic practitioner can recommend herbal remedies and lifestyle adjustments to help you cope with stress and anxiety. This integrated method can enhance your resilience, allowing you to navigate this challenging dynamic with greater clarity and peace. Remember, finding a balance may take time, and it’s okay to seek support from both spiritual and medical communities.
Sounds like a real tough spot you’re in right now. Balancing personal interests with family expectations is like walking a tightrope sometimes. You’re genuinely torn between two paths. Let’s look at this from an Ayurvedic perspective, because sometimes shifting our internal balance helps us see the external dilemmas more clearly.
Ayurveda talks a lot about prakriti—your natural constitution. If you feel inclined towards a more spiritual life, it might be an expression of your inherent nature. People with a dominant Vata dosha, for instance, often feel drawn towards pursuits that are inward and exploratory, like spirituality. It’s essential to stay true to your prakriti, because fighting against it can create internal discord.
But at the same time, we can’t ignore the dharma—our duty. In traditional Ayurvedic terms, this often involves balancing our personal desires with responsibilities towards family and society. So, instead of choosing one over the other, how about looking for ways they can coexist?
For example, consider mediation or yoga that embraces spiritual growth without completely detaching from daily responsibilities. Set aside some time each day—could be mornings before the day starts or evenings—to nurture your spiritual side. Let this be your time to meditate, read, reflect. A consistent routine can help pacify the restless nature of Vata while providing some tranquility, making the demands of worldly life feel less overwhelming.
On the other hand, meeting your mother’s expectations doesn’t have to mean sacrificing all you love. Could her worries be less about spirituality itself, and more about security, social norms or even just wanting you close by? You might find common ground by having an open chat with her, maybe even bring her along exploring your spiritual interests if she’s open.
They say an agni, or digestive fire, needs to be tended in all realms—mental, physical, emotional—to burn brightly. Your path might be about finding little fires within that warm both worlds. And, to keep the doshas in balance and support your journey, consider foods that ground Vata energy; things that are warm, nourishing, sweet, and moist like cooked grains and root vegetables.
While Ayurveda emphasizes balance and moderation, modern life often favors extremes—don’t let that pull you too hard in any one direction. Structures that support both you and your mother can coexist. Cheshire, get small steps towars it might help, like trying to integrate small spiritual practices into the daily routine you share with your mom.
Sometimes, bridging the gap between divergent paths is less about grand gestures and more like whispering to yourself ‘I got this’, as you take one step at a time. Be gentle with yourself, and see where those steps lead.

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