Hlo,
I understand how exhausting this can be for parents 🌼 First, please know this behavior is common and not a failure of parenting. Tantrums and stubbornness usually increase when a child is growing emotionally and trying to assert independence.
Since your child has been showing this behavior for 3–6 months, mostly during transitions (especially bedtime), here is a clear, practical plan you can start using.
Why this is happening Child wants control and independence Difficulty handling change or transitions Emotional skills are still developing Testing boundaries to see how parents respond
What to do (Step-by-Step Solutions) 1️⃣ Create a Predictable Routine (Very Important) Children feel safe when they know what comes next. For bedtime: Same time every day Same steps in same order (bath → story → lights off) Start winding down 30–40 minutes before sleep 👉 Tell him calmly: “After this story, it’s sleeping time.” Repeat it daily.
2️⃣ Give Limited Choices (Reduces Stubbornness) Instead of saying: ❌ “Go to bed now!” Say: ✅ “Do you want to sleep after 1 story or 2 stories?” This gives him control within limits.
3️⃣ Acknowledge Feelings, Not Tantrums When he throws a tantrum: Stay calm (you’re already doing well here 👍) Get down to his eye level Say slowly: “I know you are angry because playtime is over. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s time to sleep.” ⚠️ Do not argue, lecture, or shout.
4️⃣ Do NOT Give In During Tantrums If you give what he wants after crying, he learns: “Tantrums work.” Be loving but firm: “I love you, but the rule stays the same.” Consistency is the key 🔑
5️⃣ Praise Good Behavior Immediately Children repeat what gets attention. Whenever he cooperates: “Good job listening!” “I’m proud of you for going to bed calmly.” Even small improvements should be praised.
6️⃣ Reduce Triggers Avoid screens at least 1 hour before sleep Make sure he is not overtired or hungry Spend 10–15 minutes of quality time daily (no phone) This reduces emotional outbursts.
When to be concerned
Seek professional help if: Tantrums last more than 30–40 minutes Aggression (hitting, biting) Speech delay or poor eye contact Behavior worsening despite consistency Important Reminder for Parents ❤️ Tantrums are not disrespect Your calm response teaches emotional regulation Improvement usually takes 2–4 weeks of consistency
Tq
Why children show tantrums & stubborn behavior Common reasons: Unable to express emotions (especially in small children) Seeking attention or control Over-tired, hungry, or overstimulated Inconsistent rules (sometimes allowed, sometimes scolded) Imitating adults’ behavior Developmental phase (especially age 2–6 years) 👉 Tantrums are the child’s way of saying: “I don’t know how to handle my feelings.” What NOT to do (very important) ❌ Shouting or hitting ❌ Giving in immediately to stop crying ❌ Comparing with other children ❌ Long lectures during tantrums These increase stubbornness over time. Effective solutions (step by step) 1. Stay calm first Speak slowly and softly If you lose control, the child feels unsafe Remember: calm parent = calm child 2. Set clear & consistent rules Same rule every day Both parents should follow one pattern Example: “Screen time only after homework—no exceptions” Consistency reduces tantrums. 3. Give limited choices (very powerful technique) Instead of: “Wear this dress!” Say: “Do you want the blue dress or the yellow one?” Child feels control without rebellion. 4. Ignore minor tantrums safely If child is safe and just crying for attention: Don’t react immediately Stay nearby but don’t negotiate Once calm → talk gently ⚠️ Never ignore if the child is hurting self or others. 5. Name their feelings Teach emotional language: “I see you are angry because you wanted that toy.” This helps the child feel understood, reducing intensity. 6. Praise good behavior immediately Even small things: “I’m proud of you for listening.” “Good job calming yourself.” Positive reinforcement works better than punishment. 7. Fixed daily routine Children feel secure with routine: Fixed sleep time Fixed meals Limited screen time Daily outdoor play 👉 Irregular routine = more tantrums 8. Quality time daily (15–20 minutes) No phone No teaching or scolding Just play or talk This reduces attention-seeking tantrums greatly.
Hello It’s super tough when your kid goes through that stubborn phase, not listening and throwing tantrums all the time – especially for months on end. But seriously, don’t sweat it. This happens to so many parents, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job or that your kid’s a problem. We can totally fix this with the right steps.
YOUR KID, RIGHT NOW
* Stubborn for the last 3-6 months. * Tantrums often happen when you’re trying to switch things up (bedtime, stopping play, changing activities). * You’re staying calm, which is awesome!
WHY THIS IS HAPPENING
From a kid’s development point of view: This usually kicks in when: * Kids start wanting to do things their way. * They want to be in charge but don’t know how to handle big feelings yet. * Their brains can’t quite deal with feeling frustrated. * Tantrums are often just a kid’s way of saying: I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling!
From an Ayurvedic point of view:
Kids like this often have: –A Vata imbalance (makes them restless, suddenly angry, a bit all over the place). –Sometimes a Pitta imbalance (makes them cranky, stubborn). –No regular schedule (which makes everything worse). –this also has to do with their mind channels being out of whack.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO (Step-by-Step)
1. GET A ROUTINE GOING (SERIOUSLY, THIS IS #1) Kids do best when they know what’s coming. Have set times for: * Waking up * Meals * Playtime * Sleep * Bedtime needs to be the same every day. * Once the routine’s solid, the tantrums will naturally go down.
2. BE SMART ABOUT SWITCHING ACTIVITIES (This is key for your situation)
Since tantrums happen during changes:
* Don't just suddenly pull the plug on an activity.
* Give them warnings: Five more minutes, then it's bedtime. After this song, we're done playing.
* You can also use: A timer, a little song, or a small routine (like a story before bed).
3. DO NOT FIGHT DURING A TANTRUM When a tantrum starts: * Stay calm (you’re already doing great here). * Don’t lecture them. * Don’t threaten them. * Don’t give in right away. * Instead: Sit close by and say, I know you’re upset. I’m right here. * Talk about it AFTER the tantrum ends. You can teach them once they’re calm, not when they’re melting down.
4. LET THEM HAVE SOME SAY (in safe ways) Help with the stubbornness by giving them choices: * Instead of: Wear this dress. * Try: Red dress or blue dress? * This lets them feel in control without making a mess.
AYURVEDIC TIPS (Super gentle and safe)
Oil Massage (Works like a charm!) * Daily head and foot massage. * Use warm Brahmi oil or coconut oil. * Especially good before bed. * It calms their nerves and helps with crankiness and tantrums.
Food Ideas * Warm, home-cooked food. * Stay away from: Too much sugar, packaged snacks, cold drinks. * Bring in more: Milk, ghee, fruits, simple meals.
WHAT TO AVOID * Yelling or calling them names (stubborn, bad). * Comparing them to other kids. * Having rules that keep changing. * Too much screen time (huge tantrum trigger!).
–Your child isn’t just stubborn. –This phase won’t last forever. –Being calm, consistent, and having a routine is the fix. –Ayurveda is all about calming the mind, not just stopping bad behavior.
You’re doing an amazing job as parents!
All the best, Dr. Snehal Vidhate
1.Brahmi ghrita 1/4 tsp with warm milk at bedtime 2.Saraswatrishta 5 ml with 5 ml water twice daily after meals 3.Manasmithra vatkam 1 tab once daily with water after meals
🧘 Supportive Non-Medicine Measures - Bedtime routine: Gentle oil massage (Bala Taila or sesame oil) before sleep calms vata and helps transitions. - Diet: Avoid excess sugar, fried foods, and packaged snacks. Favor warm, fresh meals with ghee. - Mind-calming practices: Storytelling, chanting simple mantras (like Om or Gayatri), or listening to soft music before bed. - Play therapy: Encourage outdoor play in the morning sun to balance energy.
In Ayurveda, stubbornness and tantrums are signs of increased Rajas (Hyperactivity/Passion) and aggravated Vata (Restlessness) in the mind. The fact that this happens during transitions (like bedtime) confirms that his nervous system is struggling to switch off or settle down.
Medicines (Safe for Children) 1 Brahmi Ghrita: ½ teaspoon followed by warm water/milk in the morning on an empty stomach. 2 Saraswatarishta: 1 teaspoon (5ml) mixed with equal water, twice daily (after food).
External Therapy Padabhyanga (Foot Massage)- Rub Warm Sesame Oil or Ksheerabala Oil on the soles of his feet for 5 minutes right before bedtime.
Dietary & Lifestyle Rules The No-Sugar Sunset Rule: Strictly no chocolates, biscuits or sugary juices after 6:00 PM. Stop all screens (TV, Phone) 2 hours before bed. Keep dinner and bedtime at the exact same time every day
Regards Dr Gursimran Jeet Singh MD Panchakarma
