Hlo,
I understand how exhausting this can be for parents 🌼 First, please know this behavior is common and not a failure of parenting. Tantrums and stubbornness usually increase when a child is growing emotionally and trying to assert independence.
Since your child has been showing this behavior for 3–6 months, mostly during transitions (especially bedtime), here is a clear, practical plan you can start using.
Why this is happening Child wants control and independence Difficulty handling change or transitions Emotional skills are still developing Testing boundaries to see how parents respond
What to do (Step-by-Step Solutions) 1️⃣ Create a Predictable Routine (Very Important) Children feel safe when they know what comes next. For bedtime: Same time every day Same steps in same order (bath → story → lights off) Start winding down 30–40 minutes before sleep 👉 Tell him calmly: “After this story, it’s sleeping time.” Repeat it daily.
2️⃣ Give Limited Choices (Reduces Stubbornness) Instead of saying: ❌ “Go to bed now!” Say: ✅ “Do you want to sleep after 1 story or 2 stories?” This gives him control within limits.
3️⃣ Acknowledge Feelings, Not Tantrums When he throws a tantrum: Stay calm (you’re already doing well here 👍) Get down to his eye level Say slowly: “I know you are angry because playtime is over. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s time to sleep.” ⚠️ Do not argue, lecture, or shout.
4️⃣ Do NOT Give In During Tantrums If you give what he wants after crying, he learns: “Tantrums work.” Be loving but firm: “I love you, but the rule stays the same.” Consistency is the key 🔑
5️⃣ Praise Good Behavior Immediately Children repeat what gets attention. Whenever he cooperates: “Good job listening!” “I’m proud of you for going to bed calmly.” Even small improvements should be praised.
6️⃣ Reduce Triggers Avoid screens at least 1 hour before sleep Make sure he is not overtired or hungry Spend 10–15 minutes of quality time daily (no phone) This reduces emotional outbursts.
When to be concerned
Seek professional help if: Tantrums last more than 30–40 minutes Aggression (hitting, biting) Speech delay or poor eye contact Behavior worsening despite consistency Important Reminder for Parents ❤️ Tantrums are not disrespect Your calm response teaches emotional regulation Improvement usually takes 2–4 weeks of consistency
Tq
In Ayurveda, stubbornness and tantrums are signs of increased Rajas (Hyperactivity/Passion) and aggravated Vata (Restlessness) in the mind. The fact that this happens during transitions (like bedtime) confirms that his nervous system is struggling to switch off or settle down.
Medicines (Safe for Children) 1 Brahmi Ghrita: ½ teaspoon followed by warm water/milk in the morning on an empty stomach. 2 Saraswatarishta: 1 teaspoon (5ml) mixed with equal water, twice daily (after food).
External Therapy Padabhyanga (Foot Massage)- Rub Warm Sesame Oil or Ksheerabala Oil on the soles of his feet for 5 minutes right before bedtime.
Dietary & Lifestyle Rules The No-Sugar Sunset Rule: Strictly no chocolates, biscuits or sugary juices after 6:00 PM. Stop all screens (TV, Phone) 2 hours before bed. Keep dinner and bedtime at the exact same time every day
Regards Dr Gursimran Jeet Singh MD Panchakarma
Why children show tantrums & stubborn behavior Common reasons: Unable to express emotions (especially in small children) Seeking attention or control Over-tired, hungry, or overstimulated Inconsistent rules (sometimes allowed, sometimes scolded) Imitating adults’ behavior Developmental phase (especially age 2–6 years) 👉 Tantrums are the child’s way of saying: “I don’t know how to handle my feelings.” What NOT to do (very important) ❌ Shouting or hitting ❌ Giving in immediately to stop crying ❌ Comparing with other children ❌ Long lectures during tantrums These increase stubbornness over time. Effective solutions (step by step) 1. Stay calm first Speak slowly and softly If you lose control, the child feels unsafe Remember: calm parent = calm child 2. Set clear & consistent rules Same rule every day Both parents should follow one pattern Example: “Screen time only after homework—no exceptions” Consistency reduces tantrums. 3. Give limited choices (very powerful technique) Instead of: “Wear this dress!” Say: “Do you want the blue dress or the yellow one?” Child feels control without rebellion. 4. Ignore minor tantrums safely If child is safe and just crying for attention: Don’t react immediately Stay nearby but don’t negotiate Once calm → talk gently ⚠️ Never ignore if the child is hurting self or others. 5. Name their feelings Teach emotional language: “I see you are angry because you wanted that toy.” This helps the child feel understood, reducing intensity. 6. Praise good behavior immediately Even small things: “I’m proud of you for listening.” “Good job calming yourself.” Positive reinforcement works better than punishment. 7. Fixed daily routine Children feel secure with routine: Fixed sleep time Fixed meals Limited screen time Daily outdoor play 👉 Irregular routine = more tantrums 8. Quality time daily (15–20 minutes) No phone No teaching or scolding Just play or talk This reduces attention-seeking tantrums greatly.
Hello It’s super tough when your kid goes through that stubborn phase, not listening and throwing tantrums all the time – especially for months on end. But seriously, don’t sweat it. This happens to so many parents, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job or that your kid’s a problem. We can totally fix this with the right steps.
YOUR KID, RIGHT NOW
* Stubborn for the last 3-6 months. * Tantrums often happen when you’re trying to switch things up (bedtime, stopping play, changing activities). * You’re staying calm, which is awesome!
WHY THIS IS HAPPENING
From a kid’s development point of view: This usually kicks in when: * Kids start wanting to do things their way. * They want to be in charge but don’t know how to handle big feelings yet. * Their brains can’t quite deal with feeling frustrated. * Tantrums are often just a kid’s way of saying: I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling!
From an Ayurvedic point of view:
Kids like this often have: –A Vata imbalance (makes them restless, suddenly angry, a bit all over the place). –Sometimes a Pitta imbalance (makes them cranky, stubborn). –No regular schedule (which makes everything worse). –this also has to do with their mind channels being out of whack.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO (Step-by-Step)
1. GET A ROUTINE GOING (SERIOUSLY, THIS IS #1) Kids do best when they know what’s coming. Have set times for: * Waking up * Meals * Playtime * Sleep * Bedtime needs to be the same every day. * Once the routine’s solid, the tantrums will naturally go down.
2. BE SMART ABOUT SWITCHING ACTIVITIES (This is key for your situation)
Since tantrums happen during changes:
* Don't just suddenly pull the plug on an activity.
* Give them warnings: Five more minutes, then it's bedtime. After this song, we're done playing.
* You can also use: A timer, a little song, or a small routine (like a story before bed).
3. DO NOT FIGHT DURING A TANTRUM When a tantrum starts: * Stay calm (you’re already doing great here). * Don’t lecture them. * Don’t threaten them. * Don’t give in right away. * Instead: Sit close by and say, I know you’re upset. I’m right here. * Talk about it AFTER the tantrum ends. You can teach them once they’re calm, not when they’re melting down.
4. LET THEM HAVE SOME SAY (in safe ways) Help with the stubbornness by giving them choices: * Instead of: Wear this dress. * Try: Red dress or blue dress? * This lets them feel in control without making a mess.
AYURVEDIC TIPS (Super gentle and safe)
Oil Massage (Works like a charm!) * Daily head and foot massage. * Use warm Brahmi oil or coconut oil. * Especially good before bed. * It calms their nerves and helps with crankiness and tantrums.
Food Ideas * Warm, home-cooked food. * Stay away from: Too much sugar, packaged snacks, cold drinks. * Bring in more: Milk, ghee, fruits, simple meals.
WHAT TO AVOID * Yelling or calling them names (stubborn, bad). * Comparing them to other kids. * Having rules that keep changing. * Too much screen time (huge tantrum trigger!).
–Your child isn’t just stubborn. –This phase won’t last forever. –Being calm, consistent, and having a routine is the fix. –Ayurveda is all about calming the mind, not just stopping bad behavior.
You’re doing an amazing job as parents!
All the best, Dr. Snehal Vidhate
1.Brahmi ghrita 1/4 tsp with warm milk at bedtime 2.Saraswatrishta 5 ml with 5 ml water twice daily after meals 3.Manasmithra vatkam 1 tab once daily with water after meals
🧘 Supportive Non-Medicine Measures - Bedtime routine: Gentle oil massage (Bala Taila or sesame oil) before sleep calms vata and helps transitions. - Diet: Avoid excess sugar, fried foods, and packaged snacks. Favor warm, fresh meals with ghee. - Mind-calming practices: Storytelling, chanting simple mantras (like Om or Gayatri), or listening to soft music before bed. - Play therapy: Encourage outdoor play in the morning sun to balance energy.
आप जो अपने बच्चे के बारे में कह रहे हैं, वह बहुत आम है, और इसका मतलब यह नहीं है कि बच्चा बुरा या अवज्ञाकारी है। जब कुछ महीनों के लिए गुस्सा आता है, तो यह आमतौर पर भावनात्मक ओवरलोड, मानसिक बेचैनी और भावनात्मक स्थिरता की कमी को दर्शाता है। बच्चे को सबसे ज्यादा परेशानी तब होती है जब बदलाव होते हैं, जैसे सोने का समय, क्योंकि उनका दिमाग सक्रिय रहता है और वे एक काम से दूसरे काम में आसानी से शिफ्ट नहीं कर पाते। यहां तक कि जब माता-पिता शांतिपूर्वक बात करते हैं, बार-बार निर्देश देने से प्रतिरोध बढ़ सकता है क्योंकि बच्चा आश्वासन के बजाय दबाव महसूस करता है। इस स्थिति में दिमाग और नर्वस सिस्टम को शांत करने की जरूरत होती है, न कि सख्त नियंत्रण की।
रूटीन सुधार के साथ-साथ आयुर्वेदिक सपोर्ट मदद करेगा, इसलिए आप उसे सारस्वती अरिष्ट 5ML बराबर मात्रा में पानी के साथ दो बार दोपहर और रात के खाने के बाद दें ब्राह्मी सिरप-5ML रात में एक बार अश्वगंधादी लेह्यम-1/4 चम्मच रात में
अगर नींद में खलल पड़ता है, तो भोजन, खेल और सोने के लिए एक निश्चित दैनिक शेड्यूल रखें, बदलाव से पहले संकेत दें, स्क्रीन टाइम कम करें, खासकर शाम को, और रोजाना 1 से 1 समय बिताएं जब बच्चा भावनात्मक रूप से सुरक्षित और समर्थित महसूस करता है। इस संयुक्त दृष्टिकोण के साथ, गुस्सा धीरे-धीरे कम हो जाता है, और बच्चा अधिक सहयोगी और संतुलित हो जाता है।
Hello
यह एक आम समस्या है जो कई बच्चों में देखी जाती है, खासकर जब उन्हें ज्यादा लाड़-प्यार मिलता है और मोबाइल और टीवी पर ऐसे शो देखते हैं जो इस व्यवहार की सराहना करते हैं।
माता-पिता के रूप में यह बहुत जरूरी है कि आप सख्त रहें, भले ही इससे आपको तकलीफ हो। एक बार जब आपका बच्चा समझ जाएगा कि आप उसकी जिद को स्वीकार नहीं कर रहे हैं, तो वह निश्चित रूप से शांत हो जाएगा।
सख्त होने के साथ-साथ आपको कभी-कभी उसकी सराहना भी करनी चाहिए ताकि उसे अकेलापन महसूस न हो।
🧘♀️ अनुलोम-विलोम और भ्रामरी प्राणायाम मदद करेंगे।
❌ चाय, कॉफी या गैस वाले पेय न पिएं।
❌ स्क्रीन टाइम कम करें… अंधेरे में स्क्रीन न देखें और सोने से 1 घंटा पहले स्क्रीन से दूर रहें। सोने से पहले दृश्य सामग्री की बजाय ऑडियो सामग्री का उपयोग करें। उपभोग की गई सामग्री को फिल्टर करें।
✔️ सोने से पहले रोजाना एक गिलास भैंस का दूध पिएं।
✔️ दोनों भोजन के बाद 100 कदम चलना जरूरी है।
✔️ केवल घर का बना खाना खाएं… बाहर का खाना, पैक और प्रोसेस्ड फूड से बचें।
✔️ पैक वाले पेय की बजाय प्राकृतिक तरल जैसे फलों का रस, नारियल पानी, नींबू का रस, कोकम शरबत को प्राथमिकता दें।
💊 दवा: 💊
पंचेंद्रिय वर्धन तैलम सुबह खाली पेट प्रत्येक नथुने में 2 बूंद डालें।
कैप. मेमोरिन (एस.जी. फाइटोफार्मा) खाने से पहले दिन में दो बार 1 कैप्सूल। अगर वह कैप्सूल नहीं खा सकता है, तो इसे खोलकर चूर्ण को थोड़े से शहद के साथ मिलाएं।
सिरप. प्रशम सोते समय गुनगुने पानी के साथ 2 चम्मच। टैब. मानस्मित्र वातक सोते समय 1 टैबलेट।
ब्राह्मी तेल से सिर की मालिश उसे शांत करने में मदद करेगी।
Parents need a lot of patience and calmness to be arround such children., Start with Mentat syrup 1tsp -1tsp -1tsp. After food with water, will help calm the child Brahmi churan 1/2tsp. With cow’s ghee, once daily will work as brain tonic Ashwagandha churan 0-0-1/2tsp with milk at bedtime with, will help give good sleep All these above medicine will reduce the child’s irritation and calm down. Apply Brahmi oil on scalp . Avoid nonveg food if non-vegetarian as nonveg food is very tamasic. The child should be told encouraging stories, courageous stories tha can improve self confidence and lift spirit.
HELLO,
In Ayurveda, mental and behavioural patterns are governed by vata, pitta and Kapha doshas, along with satva (mental strength)
MOST COMMON CAUSES -VATA IMBALANCE-> restlessness, mood swings, sudden crying, difficulty with transitions (sleep, change of routine)
-PITTA IMBALANCE->anger, stubbornness, frustration, shouting, resistance
-WEAK SATVA GUNA->low emotional regulation, poor tolerance too stress
Since tantrums occur durin traditions (like bedtime), this strongly indicates vata aggravation, sometimes mixed with pitta
DIET MANAGEMENT Diet plays a major role In calming the child’s mind
INCLUDE -warm, freshly cooked food -rice, wheat, oats -moong dal, massor dal -milk- warm boiled with a pinch of turmeric -ghee 1-2 tsp daily -steamed vegetables- carrot, pumpkin, bottle gourd -ripe banana, apple (stewed if possible)
AVOID -packaged snacks, chips, chocolates -cold fooods, ice cream, -very spicy, sour, fried food -sugary drinks -eating late at night
IMPORTANT= maintain fixed meal times. Irregular eating worsens vata and tantrums
DAILY ROUTINE- MOST IMPORTANT Children need predictability
IDEAL ROUTINE -wake up at the same time daily -fixed play, study, and sleep times -bedtime ideally before 9 pm
TRANSITION TIP (very useful for tantrums) before any transition (bedtime, stopping play) -give.a 5 min and 2 min warning -use calm voice, not commands -Example= After 5 minutes, we will go to bed. Let’s finish peacefully
This greatly reduce vata triggered resistance
OIL MASSAGE - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Daily oil massage calms the nervous system
OIL -Sesame oil (best for vata) -If pitta signs (anger, heat)-> coconut oil
METHOD -warm the oil slightly -massage gently on= scalp , soles of feet, back and joints
-Duration= 10-15 min -follow with warm bath Even foot massage alone at night can reduce bedtime tantrums
AYUREDIC REMEDIES
-BRAHMI GHRITA= 1/2 tsp with warm milk at night = improves emotional control
-SHANKHAPUSHPI SYRUP= 1/2 tsp twice daily =calms mind, reduces irritability
BEHAVIOURAL APPROACH AS PER AYURVEDA
WHAT TO DO -stay calm and emotionally neutral -acknowedge feelings “I know you are upset” -Offer limited choices= “Do you want to sleep ow or after one stop?” -maintain consistency between parents
WHAT TO AVOID -shouting or threatening -giving in during tantrums excessive screen time (highly aggravates vata-pitta) -comparing with other children
MENTAL STRENGTH THERAPYY Ayurveda emphasises training the mind gently -dail stort telling with moral values -gentle breathing before sleep -listening to calm music or mantras -parents maintaining emotional balance (children absorb parents stress)
Your child is not “too stubborn”- his nervous system is asking for balance. With routine , warm food, oil massage, calm transitions, and gentle discipline, tantrums usually reduce within 2-4 weeks
DO FOLLOW
HOPE THIS MIGHT BE HELPFUL
THANK YOU
DR. MAITRI ACHARYA
