Getting more comfortable with intimacy is all about understanding each other and ya know, figuring out what feels right for both of you. Just know, it’s really common to feel a bit lost but you’re off to a good start just by wanting to talk more openly.
Firstly, it’s great that you both want things to be healthy and enjoyable. That’s key. Part of that is focusing on honest communication. Sounds simple, I know, but talking openly about what you both like and don’t like can really break down those awkward barriers. When you tried that lights-off thing, it sounds like a good experiment—you were leaning on deeper connection - but don’t stress too much about getting it “right.”
Foreplay is actually important in Ayurveda, as it’s about preparing the body and mind for a connection. Think of it like igniting the digestive fire (agni) before a meal. Spend time caressin’, kissing, or massaging each other. It’s this kind of nurturing touch that helps balance the doshas— especially Vata, which if gets aggravated can cause anxiety or nervousness during intimacy.
About that pressure you mentioned, forget that idea of having to follow any strict pattern. Natural rhythm comes with understanding and time. Explore together, and don’t worry if things aren’t perfect or textbook.
Some practical tips would be to set the scene. Maybe some soothing music and essential oils—preferably ones like sandalwood or jasmine, which can pacify Vata—and adjust the environment to make y’all both comfy. And, hey, remember that it’s OK to laugh if things get a little awkward. Humor kinda eases the tension, ya know?
Now about that health part, physical wellness is as important as emotional connection in Ayurveda. Thoughts about mindfulness, good nutrition, and even doing some rhythmic and synchronized breathing could be a game-changer for both of you.
With safety, always listen to each other’s comfort levels— consent is big, so that’s fab that you’re keeping this in mind. Anxiety can really creep in otherwise. Be patient with yourselves and celebrate the small wins and discoveries together.
Bottom line is: there’s no rush, no need to have a set of technical steps. Just keep chatting, stay curious, and evolve together. That balance between spontaneity and some structure will just naturally unfold. Make it fun and adventurous, not a task. Totally have learned that sometimes winging it and discovery can actually build stronger bonds — the healthy, satisfying kind.



