Surrogacy process

Question

I never thought I’d be in this situation, but here we are. After five years of trying every possible fertility treatment, multiple failed IVF cycles, and an early miscarriage last year, my husband and I finally decided to go through the surrogacy process. It was not an easy decision – mentally, emotionally, or financially – but my body just couldn't handle another round of treatments.

We found a clinic and matched with a surrogate a few months ago. The embryo transfer was successful, and now our baby is growing in her womb. I should be relieved, right? But instead, I feel this constant stress and guilt, like I’ve somehow failed as a mother before even holding my baby. Plus, my body is all out of whack. Ever since stopping my hormone medications after the embryo transfer, I’ve been dealing with extreme fatigue, bloating, digestive issues, and irregular periods (even though I wasn’t expecting them to come back so soon). My digestion feels sluggish, I’ve put on weight even though my diet hasn’t changed, and I just don’t feel like myself.

A friend mentioned that Ayurveda could help balance my body and prepare me for motherhood in a more natural way. I don’t know much about it, but she said there are herbs and treatments that help with hormone recovery and emotional well-being. Since I’m not carrying the baby myself, I’m wondering if there’s anything specific in Ayurveda that supports women who go through the surrogacy process? Can it help with my energy levels and all these weird hormonal symptoms? Also, is there any Ayurvedic preparation I should do before bringing the baby home to bond with them better?

I’m open to trying anything that could help me feel more connected to this journey and my future child. If anyone has gone through the surrogacy process and used Ayurveda to support their health, I’d love to hear about it.

Dr. Harsha Joy · Accepted Answer

In Ayurveda, the emotional and physical challenges you're experiencing after surrogacy and the hormonal changes that follow are often linked to imbalances in Vata and Pitta doshas. These imbalances can affect digestion, energy levels, and emotional well-being. To support recovery, herbs like Ashwagandha, Shatavari, and Brahmi are recommended to nourish the nervous system, balance hormones, and ease fatigue. Shatavari, in particular, is known for its ability to support female reproductive health and promote emotional stability. For digestive issues and bloating, gentle detoxifying herbs like Triphala and Cumin-Coriander-Fennel (CCF) tea can help reset digestion. Ayurveda also emphasizes self-care practices like Abhyanga (oil massage), Pranayama (breathing exercises), and meditation to reduce stress and help you reconnect with your body and the journey ahead. Preparing for motherhood through these practices can also help you establish a deeper connection with your child, supporting emotional bonding even before they arrive. Be sure to consult with an Ayurvedic practitioner for personalized guidance to balance your specific symptoms and emotions during this time.

Dr. Ayush Varma · Answer

I truly understand the emotional and physical challenges you're facing on this journey, especially after such an arduous path to parenthood. The feelings of stress and guilt you mentioned are common among those who undergo fertility treatments, and it's essential to address both your emotional well-being and physical symptoms as you prepare for motherhood.

### Ayurvedic Recommendations:

1. **Balancing Your Doshas:**
   Given your symptoms of fatigue, bloating, and sluggish digestion, it appears there may be a Vata-Kapha imbalance. Focus on grounding and nourishing practices.

2. **Dietary Adjustments:**
   - **Warm, Nourishing Foods:** Include cooked, seasonal fruits and vegetables, warm soups, and stews. Opt for sweet, sour, and salty flavors to pacify Vata and Kapha (e.g., sweet potatoes, carrots, cooked apples).
   - **Spices:** Use digestive spices such as ginger, cumin, and coriander. A warm ginger tea with honey can support digestion and revitalization.

3. **Herbs for Hormonal Balance:**
   - **Ashwagandha:** This adaptogenic herb can help improve energy levels and manage stress. Take 1/2 teaspoon of Ashwagandha powder mixed in warm milk or water before bed.
   - **Shatavari:** Traditionally used for women's health, this herb can also support hormonal balance. Consider taking 1/2 teaspoon mixed with warm milk once daily.

4. **Daily Routine (Dinacharya):**
   - Establish a calming morning routine that includes gentle yoga or stretching, followed by meditation to foster emotional stability.
   - Engage in self-massage (Abhyanga) with warm sesame oil; this promotes grounding and connection to your body.

5. **Connection Preparation:**
   - Even before the baby arrives, create a nurturing environment with soft fabrics, comforting scents (like lavender), and auditory harmony (gentle music or nature sounds).
   - Spend quiet moments visualizing bonding with your baby, which can enhance the emotional connection and prepare you for motherhood.

6. **Emotional Support:**
   - Consider joining a support group for women who have gone through similar journeys. Sharing and hearing experiences can greatly reduce feelings of isolation and guilt.

### Final Note:
It’s important to ensure that any new practices or herbs do not interfere with any ongoing medical treatments or prescriptions, so consider consulting an Ayurvedic practitioner who understands your unique history for more personalized guidance. Your emotions, health, and journey to motherhood are interconnected; nurturing each aspect will help you prepare for the joy of your growing family. Remember, your journey to motherhood is valid, and the love you have for your future child is what truly matters.

Surrogacy process - #17283

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